A Second Letter
by Avalon.Roxy
Summary: Commander Chakotay receives another letter from home in the first DataStream, and the news isn't good. My first ST:V fanfic. Warnings: Possible OOCness, an OC included, the angst may be a little over the top, and my canon knowledge could be a little rusty


Author's Notes & Ramblings:_ This is my first Star Trek: Voyager fanfic, and I had originally written it back in 1998. Please forgive me if characters are a little(or a lot) OOC, I honestly tried to keep to how they've come across during the show. I also have an OC included in this story, and hopefully she isn't too Mary Sue-esque. I like to think that this was another letter that Chakotay may have received, which we didn't get to see. It was informed later that he has a sister, so I have it written that she sends him this letter._

Disclaimer:_ Star Trek: Voyager is the property of Paramount Pictures, including it's characters, equipmentand events. I'm just borrowing them. This idea presented, is my only claim. _

**A Second Letter**

Timeline:_ This story takes place after the crew receives the first data-stream from Starfleet, and after Chakotay helps B'Elanna work through the pain of being informed of many of the Maquis being killed. _

So far, the day was turning out to be un-eventful aboard the Federation Starship Voyager. Neelix was heading down to Astrometrics to see if the data-stream that Starfleet sent contained anymore letters for the crew. "You are late." Seven of Nine informed Neelix in her usual cold-sounding tone of voice as he entered the Astrometrics lab.

"I'm sorry. I've been serving this new breakfast that I prepared for the crew, and it's been very popular. I believe it's called, Eggs Benedict. Funny name for a breakfast I might add." Neelix explained. "Guess I, lost track of time."

"I have more letters downloaded and I need you to deliver them. There's another letter included that's also for Commander Chakotay. Please be sure that he gets it."

"I won't forget. In fact, I'll give it to him right away. Let me know if there are more letters for the crew that have been included." Neelix took the pads with the letters for the crew members, including Chakotay's. Leaving Astrometrics, he arrived at Chakotay's quarters a couple minutes later. Neelix pressed the buzzer outside the door, but got no answer. He knocked on the door. "Commander?" Neelix called. Still no response. "Computer, locate Commander Chakotay."

"Commander Chakotay is in the mess hall." The ship's computer replied.

"Alright then." Neelix sighed and headed back to the mess hall.

When Neelix got back to the mess hall, it was even more crowded. At one of the tables, B'Elanna Torres and Tom Paris were sitting together, along with Commander Chakotay, and an Ensign who had been a member of the Maquis crew before they aligned with Captain Janeway and her crew, and also a friend of Chakotay's, whose name was Kiranpreet Bhatnagar. "Ah, Neelix, there you are." Chakotay said as he approached him. "I heard you had prepared Eggs Benedict for breakfast today. Been scanning the database for new recipes again?"

"Yeah, sorry. It seems word travels fast around this ship. Would you like me to make you some?"

"That would be great." Chakotay replied.

"Right away Commander. And to go with your breakfast," Neelix pulled out the pad from the pile with the letter for Chakotay. "Seven has just downloaded more letters, and this is another one for you." He handed the pad to Chakotay, and got set to make him his breakfast.

"It's from my sister." Chakotay said as he looked at it. He skimmed through the letter as Neelix served his breakfast on the plate and set it on the tray. As Chakotay was reading, the expression on his face changed, and as the ship's Morale Officer, Neelix noticed this change right away.

"Something wrong Commander?" He asked. "Did Seven download it properly?"

"She did." Chakotay replied, trying very hard to hide his emotions. Something in the letter clearly bothered him, and Neelix knew it.

"What is it then, sir?"

"It's just that, that-" Chakotay stammered, trying not to lose control. It looked like he was about to cry, and this was something he did not want others, especially Neelix, to see. "Excuse me." He turned around abruptly and left the mess hall in a hurry.

"Commander, wait!" Neelix called after him, still holding the tray with the Commander's breakfast. Kiran looked up from her tray, along with B'Elanna, and saw Chakotay leaving the mess hall in a rush. So did Tom.

"Where's Chakotay going?" Tom asked.

"I'm going to ask Neelix." Ensign Bhatnagar replied and got up. "Neelix, what's up with Chakotay? How come he just left like that?"

"I don't know, and I didn't even get a chance to give him his breakfast. I gave him a letter that had just been downloaded this morning, and he just, left. And he didn't look very happy."

"Maybe it has to do with that other letter he got. He told Lieutenant Torres and I about it, because it had to do with the Maquis."

"Oh yeah, I think I've heard a little about that. Should I go talk to him?"

"No. Maybe I should, or B'Elanna, we'd know more about it if that's what it's about." Kiran replied. Meanwhile, Chakotay hurried to turbolift, still trying to hold back the tears and keep others he passed in the hall from seeing anything. When he finally got back to his quarters, that's when he broke down, sobbing. Why? He thought. Why now? Why not after we'd have made it home?

Back at the mess hall, Kiran, and B'Elanna were deciding amoungst themselves who'd be more appropriate for talking with Chakotay, to find out what had him so upset. Even thought they served on his crew in the Maquis for a long time, and were close friends before they got trapped in the Delta Quadrant, personal information was kept to oneself mostly, and rarely was ever shared. Emotions were often kept to oneself as well. Tom Paris had another shift on the Bridge, and B'Elanna was soon due back in Engineering, so Kiran decided to try and talk to Chakotay.

She left the mess hall, and headed towards Chakotay's quarters. Kiran pressed the buzzer, but he didn't respond. "Commander?" She knocked softly on the door. "It's me, Ensign Bhatnagar. May I come in?" Chakotay looked up, hesitant about letting her in. But he then changed his mind.

"Yes, you may." Kiran went in, and found him sitting on the bed. She could see the light from the hallway reflecting off his face, indicating that he'd been crying. "Chakotay, what's wrong?" She asked, taking a seat beside him on the bed, while keeping a distance. "Is it about that letter sent from Sveta a week ago?" Kiran pointed at the pad he was still holding.

"No." Chakotay replied, wiping his eyes with his hand.

"Can I, read this?" Kiran asked. Chakotay looked up and nodded. Kiran took the pad gently from him and read through it. "Oh, I see. Your mother, you and her must've been, pretty close, am I right?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry that you had to hear about this. Especially now, given these circumstances. But, it's better than being informed of this when we return home to Earth. I know I'd rather hear about something like this now, then later." Kiran sighed. "I wish there was more I could say that could help, even though I do know what it's like to lose someone so close, especially a parent." Kiran was remembering briefly when she was informed of both her parents' death at the hands of the Cardassians, and it was one of the reasons she joined the Maquis.

"You're right. But, I just, wish I was there. To say goodbye." Chakotay wept. Kiran laid her hand on his shoulder.

"Kiran, please." Chakotay brushed it off. "I'd, really like to be alone, for now."

"Alright, if that's what you want, I understand." Kiran got up. "If you need-" A buzzer sounded, cutting her off.

"Janeway to Chakotay." It was the Captain. Chakotay looked up.

"Chakotay here. What is it Captain?"

"I need you on the bridge." Chakotay groaned. He was in no mood, especially right then.

"Not now." he muttered.

"Commander, is something wrong?" Captain Janeway asked, because she didn't get a response. Chakotay, even though he was feeling lousy, recognized his duty and quickly regained his composure.

"No, Captain. Everything's fine. I'll be there in a minute."

"Very well then, Janeway out." Chakotay got up to leave.

"Are you sure you feel up to it?" Kiran asked. Chakotay sighed sadly.

"Truthfully, no. However, working helps me keep my mind occupied. I'll be alright. But, thank you, for your concern."

"Do you want to tell the Captain about the letter, or should I?"

"I would prefer it, if I told her." Chakotay said.

"Alright then. I respect that."

In the Captain's ready room, Chakotay met with her in private to discuss the letter he had received. "I got a letter from my sister back home, and it said that our mother had passed away a year ago." The Commander explained.

"Oh, Chakotay. I'm so sorry you had to hear about that. Is there anything I can do? Maybe, you'd like to take some time off?"

"The thought has crossed my mind. But, quite frankly Captain, I'd rather keep to my duties aboard the ship. It keeps my thoughts occupied, and I need that activity."

"I understand. But, if you need to take a break, or just want to talk, my door is always open. If necessary, I can have Tuvok fill in for you at times." Captain Janeway said.

"Thank you, Kathryn."

Later that night, Kiran was asleep when her com-badge went off. She turned over, yawning and pressed on it. "Kiran here." She replied sleepily.

"Oh, Ensign, I didn't realize you still asleep. I'm sorry I woke you." It was Chakotay.

"No, it's alright Commander." Kiran said. "Is there something you need?"

"I, can't sleep. Can I, stop by your quarters? To talk?"

"Sure." Kiran replied as she got up to put on her robe. She noticed that Chakotay sounded preoccupied, and a little embarrassed.

Kiran was sitting on the edge of her bed, waiting, when Chakotay arrived at her quarters. He didn't look like he'd been getting much sleep, and his face was damp. He paced back and forth.

"I know the Captain said she'd listen if I wanted to talk, but I wasn't sure. I mean-"

"The letter still bothering you?" Kiran asked. "Oh," she realized that she had cut him off. "I'm sorry. I, should've let you finish."

"No, it's alright. Yeah, it's still, on my mind. The letter, I mean." Chakotay stammered, embarrassed, trying not to cry in front of her. "I just, wish it would stop hurting."

"Commander, if you bottle things up, it only gets worse." Kiran told him. "These things take time."

"Yeah, I know. It's what I had to tell B'Elanna when I found out about her injuring herself on purpose. I keep telling myself that too, but it's difficult."

"I know, easier said than done. And I understand. When my parents were killed, it hurt, and there were plenty of times I believed that the pain would never go away. I won't lie, it still hurts me today. Just, not as much as it did then."

"But, Kiran, it's not that my mother is gone. I knew it would come eventually. She wasn't in good health when we got stuck here. It's, not being there to say goodbye. That's what hurts." Chakotay said.

"I know, and, I'm sure your mother must've understood that, given these circumstances that are beyond our control. One thing I do know, is that timing is cruel at times. Quite frankly, I've never begun to understand it myself. But, I was raised with the belief that when things happen, there is usually a reason for them. Sometimes, we may not understand what that reason is. But thing for sure though is, that this hurts, and I understand your pain. And it will go away, though it will be a slow process." Kiran explained. This seemed to provide Commander Chakotay with some comfort.

"I guess you're right." he said. "And you were right about what you said earlier, about how it was better that my sister told me now, and not after we've gotten back home."

"Yeah, that would've been inconsiderate, and would've made you even more upset than now." Kiran agreed. She put her hand on Chakotay's shoulder, and this time, he let her. "You'll be okay. Try to get some sleep."

Though the letter still remained on his mind, Chakotay managed to keep up with his duties aboard the ship. Besides the Captain and Ensign Bhatnagar knowing about it, he also told B'Elanna, who offered to listen to if need be. Even Neelix was eventually told. These were the only people who knew about the letter. And after some time, Chakotay found that Kiran was right, that things didn't hurt so much after.

The End.

So that's it! Comments, questions? If you decide to leave a review, my one rule I have is Constructive Critism ONLY.


End file.
